That line between us
by Sonya-Heather-DeVito
Summary: Sirius meets his brother for the first time he ran away from home. But there is a fine line between them now. Canon divergence.


_A/N: Written for the International Wizarding School Championship and Hogwarts Forum. I do not own Harry Potter; it solely belongs to J.K. Rowling!_

_School: Ilvermorny_

_Year: 5_

_Theme: Gemini (A representation of twin brothers)_

_Prompt: [Dialogue] "I'm not crazy, my reality is just different from yours." (Main)_

_[Quote] "You do care, you care so much you feel as though you will bleed to death with a pain of it." _

_Word Count: 1657 (As of Google Docs)_

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He felt him even before he could hear or see him. It was an odd connection between the two of them - perhaps it was because of the blood they shared. Yet, the two brothers couldn't be more different in their personalities, in their way of understanding the world, and in the variant realities they were living.

The chilly wind blew as if trying to calm the storm raging inside his chest, but it didn't change his mood in the least. It simply didn't work; he was used to the wounds that his heart bore.

Regulus took a deep breath and looked at the star-studded sky above him. There were millions of them in the sky; his eyes though were drawn to two in particular - two brother stars shining as intense as the Sun's vivid blaze, just as they used to, at one point in their lives.

"The Astronomy Tower is a nice place to be whenever one needs a change of scenery or fresh air, don't you think?"

Regulus broke his gaze from the starry sky and turned away from the railing to face his brother standing in the shadows. His eyes were immediately drawn upon the cuts and marks littering around his face and torso - the ones he'd tried hard to keep hidden beneath his shirt, the ones that mysteriously appeared on his body every month. He noticed the slight limp in his walk too, and there was the slightest of concerns in his eyes that didn't go unnoticed by Sirius.

Sirius had a soft smile playing on his lips, a bit relieved seeing his brother was concerned about him, "You do care, you care so much you feel as though you will bleed to death with the pain of it."

Regulus' eyes clashed with Sirius', and just like that Sirius saw the emotions and worry, fading away from them. Sirius got a hollow laugh in reply from his brother, one that confused and terrified him at the same time.

"You've always been the naive one, Sirius," Regulus shook his head at him, though internally he was fuming at himself for behaving such cold-heartedly with his older brother, yet he continued, "It never failed to astound me as to how ignorant you could be of your reality. That's the reason mother always loved me more."

The mention of their mother was enough for Sirius to let all the playfulness vanish from his demeanour, "I'm not crazy; my reality is just different from yours."

"It didn't use to be," Regulus retorted without an ounce of hesitation, "not at one point. You chose different sides. You chose _them_, and that is your reality now."

Regulus rolled his shoulders back and straightened his posture, "Well, it's all in the past now, and nothing can be changed. Though, it's not the reason I wanted to meet you."

"Why did you want to meet me anyway then? Why come to the infirmary whilst searching for me like a madman? If it was important, you could have told James or Remus instead of sending me a letter," Sirius said as he clutched the letter tightly in anger.

"It was something personal," Regulus answered with a casual shrug, but before he could reply, he was interrupted rather rudely.

"James, Remus and Peter are family," Sirius growled.

"Not mine," Regulus snapped, and Sirius was surprised because Regulus wasn't the one to easily lose his composure. He was always calm and collected. "They are not _my _family, and certainly _not _Caroline's."

That made Sirius shut up. He hadn't heard anything about her since he'd run away from home. He'd tried to contact her multiple times, but neither had she replied to any of his letters nor her friends had allowed him anywhere near her. He wanted one chance, just one, and apologise to her - for being a terrible fiance and a terrible human being. Their marriage had been arranged before either of them could even walk, and they'd been engaged for two years, before Sirius had decided to pull that stunt without even informing her.

It wasn't his fault though; if he hadn't been daring enough, he would still have been stuck in that hellhole. But it wasn't Caroline's fault _either_. For that, Sirius was truly ashamed.

He saw Regulus take out something from the pocket of his robes, and instinctively he moved forward. Regulus placed the small box in his hand. Sirius hastily opened it and found it was the same hairpin that he'd gifted to Caroline as their engagement present. The gift he'd given her may be according to tradition, but it was still close to his heart - he'd gotten it custom made, especially for her, in shape of a star.

"She wanted you to have this back. She'd said that there is no place for you or your memories in her heart now. She'd also said to please stop trying to contact her, " Regulus' tone was a bit softer now, but it still hurt.

"Is she okay though? Is she upset with me?" his voice held the desperate tone. He saw Regulus take a deep breath before speaking again, as if he was preparing himself of what was to come.

"She's okay. I'll make sure of that," Regulus' stoic tone was back as he held up his hand, flashing the platinum band resting on his ring-finger now. Sirius' eyes narrowed at that.

"What? You two?" Sirius asked with a surge of anger and jealousy spiking in his veins. How could his brother -_ his_ Reggie - betray him like this?

"She was thinking it was all her fault. She thought that you running away from home, choosing them over _us_," Regulus swallowed hard as his throat tightened, "not confiding in us about your problems - she thought that it was her mistake.

Sirius could read the betrayal in his eyes and the slightest of tremble in his voice that he was trying to hide. It wasn't the thing that caught Sirius' attention though; he knew that Regulus loved him dearly but the boy was too good at keeping up with masks and pretences. Regulus would never defy their mother's order or go against the wishes of grandfather Arcturus.

What surprised him was the love and fondness and respect Regulus' voice held for Caroline. It was the same respect he'd seen in James' eyes for Lily, and Sirius wondered as to how long had Regulus been hiding this secret from everyone.

"I only did what was necessary to save Caroline and her reputation - only did what was right and what was expected of me," Regulus looked straight in the eye when he spoke the following words, "Not everyone can run away from their responsibilities, Sirius."

"I'm not a coward, Regulus!" Sirius almost shouted, urging him to understand his reasoning as well.

"Not facing your problems and running away from them isn't bravery," Regulus reasoned. He looked at his brother with a sympathetic look. As much as it hurt Sirius, he couldn't help but agree that Regulus was indeed right - things could have been different had Sirius confided in him and Caroline.

Sirius couldn't help but feel proud of the righteous man that Regulus was becoming, and only then he realised how much they've drifted away from each other, how they can never be the same.

With a heavy heart, he closed the small box and pocketed it safely in his robes.

"Do you hate me?" his voice came out as a whisper, but it still echoed in the eerie silence of the dark night. He looked at his brother with teary eyes and could recognise the pain Regulus was trying to hide. His little brother may have mastered the emotionless mask, but he never could conceal his true self from Sirius. Never.

"I do not have the right to hate you," Regulus' voice finally wavered, "I lost that right when my brother left me."

The older Black wanted nothing more than to separate the distance between them and take Reggie in his arms, nothing more than to erase that night's memory from their lives forever, but the damage had been done.

"You drew that line between us, Sirius. I'm merely respecting your wishes by keeping my distance."

"Okay," his throat tightened with unshed tears as he saw his brother leave.

"Wait! Can you please do me a favour?"

Regulus only nodded, not having the strength to speak.

"Tell her I'm sorry, okay. Tell her that it wasn't her fault. I was crazy; I didn't deserve her." Sirius got another nod from him.

"And you better not hurt her, Reggie. Or I'll hunt you down and kill you," Sirius said while looking for a good threat.

"You can never kill me," Regulus said and gave his brother a smile, one that brought peace to Sirius' soul.

"Yeah. Well then try to be better than me."

"I don't think I'm better than you," Regulus said and Sirius' brows furrowed at that before he continued, "I know I'm better than you."

His sassy reply earned him a chuckle from Sirius, "That you are, Reggie. That you certainly are."

The brothers stood in comfortable silence for a few moments, like nothing was wrong in the world and everything they've face had never happened. All good things come to an end, though.

"Goodbye, Siri. Take care of yourself." With that Regulus left hastily, making sure that Sirius didn't see the tears rolling down his eyes.

"Goodbye Reggie," Sirius whispered. He moved towards the railing knowing that sleep wouldn't come to him easily now, probably not for a month or maybe never.

He took a deep breath and the chilly wind blew as if trying to calm the storm raging inside his chest. He looked at the starry sky above him; his eyes landing onto two in particular - two brother stars shining as intense as the Sun's vivid blaze, just as Sirius and Regulus used to, at one point in their lives.

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_Hogwarts Prompt List:_

_Seasonal Challenge: 23__rd__ March – Write about Sirius Black_

_Writing Club – May: Amber's attic – [Dialogue] 11. "I don't think I'm better than you. I know I'm better than you."_


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